{Debate} Men, Women, Equality

I’ve often wondered how feminism has changed the landscape between men and women over the years in areas of relationships, in society & workplace etc and whether there is such a thing as true equality between the genders.

This is the question up for debate today.

SHE RA-RA blogger Chatthy had this to say about men, women and equality in the workforce:

“It seems as though we women want it all. Equality or so it is called, we want the child rearing status, staying home and being what is innately female as well as being given all the same opportunities presented to men or those who never leave the workforce.

I personally have the view that being a woman, feminism needs to skip the bra burning stages and really be about embracing the physical differences between a man and a woman. It is not that we are physically less capable but face it, we love it when men are chivalrous and we are unable to physically carry and lift the amount they do (pure physics). Physiologically we were designed differently. Our design is to bear children, theirs were to protect us how we choose to raise them is up for grabs. Both parents should be there in a child’s formative years and flexibility to allow men the same responsibility as their female counterpart would be a good start. But people will still then have the choice of their own family dynamic which is not dictated by society and women should not then scream that there is inequality because the task of child rearing has fallen to them.”

I have to agree with Chatthy, as much as women want to have it all there are just some facts that we cannot escape.

We humans are here on earth to carry on the human race.  Sure, you might like to think you have some higher purpose, but it comes down to a simple science, evolution.

It has been this way for thousands of years and we can’t reasonably expect it to change any time soon, even with societal pressure we undeniably place on men and women to change what is most natural to them.

As with everything in life, there are anomalies and exceptions such as those who do not want to procreate and then there are exceptions to the exception, blah blah.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot to thank the feminist movement for the liberties I have today, such as my right to vote, equal opportunity in education and employment, and of course sexual liberation.

In spite of this there are times where I think feminism has let me down, for example, there was a time I took sexual ‘empowerment’ to mean that I could have sex without attachment, akin to what a man might experience gallivanting around town sowing their wild oats.

Deep down however, I did not feel at all empowered, only empty and bereft – a woman such as I trying to be a man was doomed to fail.  Ironically, it is men that more than benefit from women having casual sex as we’ve provided them with opportunities they never would have pre-feminism, known as the third wave of feminism.

Sexual freedom allowed women to have sex with whomever and whenever they wanted, outside of marriage.  Sounds good doesn’t it, très Sex and the City.  Then, and only as women can lament we claim that men only want ‘sex’ and subsequently then wonder where all the good men are.

Quote on quote from a girlfriend ‘Men can be fickle, horny animals. You can’t hang a piece of meat in front of a tiger and expect it not to try to take a bite of it’.

True, men want sex, but they also enjoy confident, sexy, independent and smart women who need them, are loyal, nurturing, kind and above all feminine. 

*GASP*

Also, while we are not the weaker species (figuratively speaking), it’s not a stretch to concede that women are generally physically weaker than men.

I recently read an article that made me cringe, the story of Julia Gillard being protected by a man during an unexpected mob protest.

Julia was wearing wedges and a skirt at the time the incident broke out, a detail that completely missed my radar as significant.  I would have thought the fact that the Indigenous community was violently protesting was more important…

Photo: Alex Ellinghausen / Fairfax

Katherine Feeny of smh however took issue with this and wrote ‘A woman shouldn’t be considered more vulnerable than a man, simply because of her gender.

She shouldn’t feel obliged to wear clothes that make her so either…

Seriously, I’m all for femininity and skirts and strong men. But I’m over this idea that men are born-protectors, or somehow better at it than women. I’m not saying men shouldn’t step in to help a woman in need – they should step in to help anyone in need, and women should too.’

What on earth is she talking about?

In my opinion this is feminism gone way too far.

What’s wrong with a man protecting a woman?  And by the way, he was paid to protect our Prime Minister and as it so happens our Prime Minister at the moment is a woman.  I’m sure Kevin Rudd would have been manhandled in the same manner.

Have I missed something here?

Perhaps it was a slow day on the news circuit because it’s such a moot point, there was no knight in shining armour that was coming to save Julia, he was a man doing his job.  As for men being born-protectors, uh, ever heard of cave men and cave woman?

Does it make me ‘weak’ and ‘anti-feminist’ that I want a man to clobber another over the head in my defence and protection?

As Chatthy said, we should appreciate and accept what makes women and men different.  So back to my original question, can men and women truly be equal?

My answer to that is an unequivocal no.

We can’t be equal if we are different; it’s much like comparing apples to oranges, isn’t it?

Perhaps it’s an issue of semantics, why can’t we use the word ‘balance’ to create this so-called perception of ‘equality’ between men and women.

Ultimately, I suppose it requires both genders to be open-minded and accept there are some things that women generally do ‘better’ than men, and vice versa.

I think we should go back to the core of who we are as men and women; it’s our biological imperative to do so.

So let’s get back to basics, shall we?

In modern history there have been 3 waves of feminism, and I am starting to think we need another flavour of it but perhaps this time around, include men and women who wholeheartedly care about the interests of both genders.

Because, men and women have to live amongst each other and it would be preferable that we can co-exist harmoniously.

I have touched on many areas that I hope will spark many a debate and discussion, but that’s exactly the purpose of SHE RA-RA.

Your thoughts are welcome as always but please be gentle, I am a woman after all.

xo

Katherine

Tags: Equality, Feminism, Genders, Life, Men, Motherhood, Sex, Women